Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Universe made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse.

According to Wikipedia:

The term "wedding soup" is a mistranslation of the Italian language, minestra maritata ("married soup"), which is a reference to the fact that green vegetables and meats go well together.

Since the internets never lie, the above must be true. I know for a fact that the part about green vegetables and meat going well together is true, because I tried it once back in the summer of ‘87. I remember it as if it were decades ago...

There I was, staring at the daunting diversity of the buffet spread at Golden Corral. My acid wash jeans were not nearly as tight as they should have been, and my visit to this eatery was going to change that posthaste. My typical plate strategy in a self-serve food situation is this: All things brown, NO exceptions. With the exception of mac ‘n’ cheese.

Following this rule, I proceeded to stack my plate with various slabs of beef and a few deep fried bits of fowl and crustacean for good measure. Just when I thought my plate had reached it’s maximum capacity of beige foodstuffs, my attention was captured by a tub of green beans that was being replenished before me by a staffer. It was as if the Universe was trying to tell me something. And that something was: “Hey man, I bet those beans are cooked with bacon. Want some?”

My answer was "Yes. Yes, I do."

The beans were ok. They would have sucked without all that meat surrounding them. Which proves the fact that green vegetables and meats go well together.

For those of you keeping score, I had a can of Campbell’s Italian-Style Wedding for lunch.

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